Talk Money Week | Financial abuse

Financial abuse is when someone controls your money, or steals your property. This anonymous final year student shares their story of experiencing financial abuse from their partner - and how they got the help they needed.

When you think of abuse, you probably think of physical or mental abuse. However, last year I realised that I was being financially abused without realising. 

My then partner offered to look after my money; presented in a way that they were making sure I didn’t overspend and it being in my own interests. As time went on, they became more controlling with asking me to withdraw money for them, taking out credit in my name, setting up direct debits to pay their bills and controlling what I spent my money on. 

My student loan would be paid and I no longer had a say over how it was used. This was in my best interests apparently. I started to think was I really that bad with my money? I know I was bit careless at the beginning but it was the first time I was managing my money so I was learning as I went along. 

The true extent of this abuse was when I got a phone call from my landlord saying the rent had not been paid and I was in arrears. I questioned my partner and he told me not to worry and it was all in hand. The phone calls kept coming along with other reminder letters and it became very apparent that my partner had been spending all of my loan on him and had used up the credit limits on my credit cards. 

When I confronted him, he became very angry and hostile which is when I realised what was happening and I had to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. You can feel very alone, stupid and helpless but please ask for help because it is out there.

The main reason I wanted to write this blog is to raise awareness of financial abuse and where to get support and advice. I had no idea what to do but spoke to my tutors initially and they referred me to the appropriate services at the university which included the Safeguarding team and Student Finance Centre. Don’t suffer in silence and get the support you need.