Thiery is an international student who describes the difficulty of men speaking about depression.
Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal thoughts.
Describing depression for me was like recounting an abduction by aliens, I knew no one would believe me. I am yet to encounter aliens (will write another blog when I do) but I have been depressed and even suicidal. Some of the symptoms of my depressive state were lack of motivation, introversion and increase in anxiety. To cope with these symptoms, I distracted myself with various addictions which only made me more depressed. Please note, I wasn’t clinically depressed, and this is my self-assessment of my mental state.
Ashamed to talk
Initially I hid my symptoms for fear after all ‘men are not supposed to be depressed’. That is what my sister's ex told me when I asked him if he ever got depressed. Most of the men I knew had a similar mindset and those who didn’t think this way never shared their beliefs for fear of being shamed.
Over time, my symptoms became worse and I would hardly get out of bed. This in turn affected my studies and social life, then I started contemplating suicide. That is where I drew the line and made the decision to save myself, but I needed help. So, I broke down what was troubling me and shared it amongst family, friends and colleagues. They helped find solutions and discovered other areas where I was still holding back. It was like lifting a weight off my shoulders and they gave me the confidence to move out of my depressive state.
Advice from family and friends
I tried the advice my family, friends, and colleagues gave me, and I was astounded by how effective they were. It was simple things like being grateful, spending less time on social media, achieving one goal every day, and improving my sleep. I was also signposted to various university services such as the chaplaincy (did you know it is open to all students regardless of your faith or if you are agnostic), Res Life and UOP financial advice services.
I no longer felt alone in my struggles, in fact I was surrounded with people who would support me and offer me guidance. All I had to do was take the first step and reach out to them.
Dear reader let suicide not prompt you to seek advice, if you are struggling reach out now someone will be there to help you (might even be aliens).