My Pride | My Story

I am Marta a second-year Software Engineering Student at the University of Portsmouth.

I come from a country where people are not afraid to tell you their opinion. There are certain perspectives around what you should look like, how you should behave and who you should love and if you don’t ‘fit in’ – you know about it.

I love my country and am proud of being Portuguese, but I wanted to be able to explore who I am without the restriction of other people’s opinions in a place I felt comfortable to do that.

I found a freedom in Portsmouth that has changed me and my life and I want to share a little of my experience during Pride Month.

What surprised you the most about being in Portsmouth?

I am still shocked that people don’t give you their opinion! I have found that Portsmouth is very open-minded in general – not just in terms of the LGBTQIA+ community. People have the freedom to express themselves however they want and I feel it is more accepted. People don’t give their opinions of you. They respect you – they may think stuff but, in my experience, they don’t say it.

So moving to the UK was an opportunity for me to find myself and explore who I wanted to be.

Have you felt a part of the community?

I would say yes but at the beginning, I was afraid of being a part of the community because of judgments back home and I didn’t know that Portsmouth was a safe space for me – I was worried people would judge me and not want to become friends. So in the first year I was really scared, I didn’t want to be a part of anything but after some time I noticed that people don’t judge you for being you.

I joined the LGBTQIA+ Society and I was shocked about how many people there were so different to me or, just like me when I was in my first year and I was in awe that they were brave enough to join the society, express themselves and meet people who are not like themselves.

I feel a part of the community now but at the beginning it was really hard it just took me a bit longer– I needed to take my time and find the courage to go.

Did you go to Portsmouth Pride this year?

I went for the last couple of hours. I already had plans for the day so I made sure I went afterwards.

It was my first Pride – I haven’t been able to go to one in Portugal, they have a big parade and a Pride event in Lisbon each year.

I was excited to go to Portsmouth Pride but also nervous. I didn’t know what to expect or what people would think of me, if they would judge me for having my flag around my shoulders. But I didn’t need to worry – it was so cool, it felt like home – like entering a different space. There were so many different people there enjoying themselves. It was nice to see people just being themselves. It was brilliant. I was sad I missed the parade and I am going to make sure I get to see it all next year!

Have you faced any challenges?

Being here for my first year was the most challenging thing I have ever had to do.

I think coming to Portsmouth was that big step that literally changed the person I was before to the person that I am today. Before I couldn’t even talk about these things, and it was really hard. So coming here, living here and making friends, studying here was so different. Studying in a completely different country where you don’t have the support of your friends and family is hard. I missed those parts of my life and had to learn how to overcome these situations by myself. I learnt to be more confident, to be braver. Sometimes you need to be challenged and cry a little bit to find yourself and do those things.

I also found pronouns a challenge at first. In Portuguese we don’t have gender-neutral pronouns so when someone came up to me at an LGBTQAI+ event and introduced themselves with their pronouns it was a surprise. It was a new concept and it took a while to use in my daily language but it also helped me explore who I am.

Why did you want to share your story?

I didn’t see many examples of LGBTQIA+ community when I was researching the University and it would have made my decision easier if I had. I wanted to be the person I needed during my own journey. I want to give courage to people who are in a similar situation to me. I want to show them that I have done this, it is not impossible – you can be the person you want to be too. I also want to be a role model in STEM.

What would you say to your younger self?

I have mentioned that a big challenge for me is that I was always concerned about people’s opinions. So coming to the UK was me realising that people really don’t care. I could find out who I am. In my first year I was a completely different person to who I am now. I realised I could explore who I wanted to be without limitations, and I am a more confident person now because of it.

If I could tell something to my old self, I would say don’t care just be yourself because you lost so much time being someone you don’t want to be.

But what I would say to people is take your time to learn about the city and to learn what you can do to be yourself and still be comfortable – it is different for everyone. Take little steps to explore different sides of yourself but don’t feel rushed, only do what you are comfortable with – go at your own pace.

Get involved with the LGBTQIA+ Society because they are really cool and you are surrounded by people who understand you and perhaps feel the way you are feeling.