6 tips for a stress-free flatshare

I'm Thiery and here are my 6 tips to make student shared accommodation as stress-free as possible. These tips have helped me to find a balance between the personalities, schedules, and expectations of my flatmates while remembering to complete my coursework and take out the trash.

I faced a lot of challenges as an international student, mainly in building new networks and making new friends. Living in shared accommodation provided a base for me to meet new people. It can be an exciting and challenging experience and a great opportunity to make friends and learn new things.

Interacting with my flatmates and their friends gave me the confidence boost I needed to talk to others. Soon I started going out on Purple Wednesdays - a dedicated student night organised by the Student Union and local clubs -, making new friends and learning from all these experiences. And it all started with my flatmates and my encounter with their culture.

Living in shared accommodation can also be stressful if you don’t take the right steps in the beginning. No one wants to be like a nagging parent for their housemates - why should I have to tell them to pick up their clothes in the lounge or wash up those 2-week-old dirty dishes? This can be stressful and negatively affect your time at university.

1. Set Expectations: Before moving in or within the first weeks of moving in with your housemates have a conversation about your expectations for shared living. Discuss things like cleaning, noise level, and guest policies. This can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts down the line. This will also provide a chance to bond with your flatmates - you can play games like truth or dare, at the end of the meeting to keep it fun.
2. Establish Boundaries: Set boundaries for yourself and your living space. Discuss which areas are communal and which are private. Respect your housemates’ boundaries and ask them to do the same for you. Sometimes it is ok for flatmates to come into your private space depending on the context. But communication of boundaries with them is essential so they know when you need your privacy.
3. Communicate Effectively: Communication is key in any shared living situation. Be honest and respectful when talking to your roommates. If something is bothering you, address it in a timely manner. Avoid letting issues fester and escalate into bigger problems. No one likes those passive aggressive sticky notes, instead you can communicate through group chats like those on WhatsApp or Snapchat. Don’t worry if the group chat becomes flooded with Zoolander memes or viral TikTok dances, just remember the group chat is for your accommodation.
4. Be Respectful: Respect your roommates' space, belongings, and privacy. Ask before using their things, and avoid invading their personal space. Be mindful of noise levels, especially at night, and try to keep common areas clean and tidy. I try to treat my roommates the way I would like to be treated. I let them know when my other friends are coming over, when I want to play my guitar, and even when I forget to clean up. I also respect their own beliefs, so when we disagree it is more about learning about various beliefs than about who is right or wrong.
5. Be Flexible: Living with housemates means you may need to compromise at times. Be flexible and willing to adjust your expectations. Work together to find solutions that work for everyone. For example, I don't eat in my room, but if my roommates have guests around and I can't use the lounge, then I eat in the kitchen. Always try the adaptive method first before anything else. A house where everyone is open to each other and try to work together, will be the best place to live.
6. Stay Positive: Try to stay positive and make an effort to get to know your roommates. Take advantage of opportunities to socialise and have fun together. Don’t be one of those who regrets not making and maintaining any friendships in university. Your roommates could become your best friends… or maybe not, you never know until you have tried. My goals at uni keep increasing, and recently maintaining my friendships became one of my new goals. During my first year at university, I spent most of my time confined to my room and didn't engage much with my roommates. But now one of my closest friends happened to be someone who used to live with me in the same flat.

By following these tips, you can create a positive and enjoyable living experience in student shared accommodation. Remember, it's all about communication, respect, compromise and enjoying your experience.